THE EYE'S OF ALICE COOPER

WELL YOU NEW IT WAS COMING. I HAD TO DO A REVIEW ON THE MAN WHO MAKES MY WRETCHED LIFE WORTH LIVING, ALICE! NOW I MUST INSIST YOU GET THIS NEW ALICE RELEASE WHETHER YOU LIKE ALICE OR NOT,WEATHER YOU LIKE ROCK OR NOT,METAL OR NOT,MAGGOTS DELIGHT OR NOT, ME OR NOT! EVEN IF YOU ARE TO MUCH OF AN IGNORANT GEEK , YOU MUST GET THIS C.D. IF ONLY TO HAVE IT DISPLAYED IN YOUR SORRY ASS COLLECTION. JUST SO PEOPLE THINK YOUR THE COOLEST. AAHH, BUT YOU ASK WHY. WELL IF BECAUSE ITS ALICE IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, THEN I GUESS I WILL TRY AN EXPLAIN IT. WHAT EVER YOU HAVE HEARD FROM ALICE IN RECENT YEARS COULD NOT PREPARE YOU FOR THE GREATNESS THAT AWAITS YOU ON THE EYE'S OF ALICE.THE VERY OPENING BLAST RIFF IS LIKE A BITCH SLAP TO THE FACE. THIS IS THE DANGER AND THE SNEER THE HOUSE THAT ALICE BUILT WAS FOUNDED ON! TWO OR THREE SONGS INTO IT, AND YOU BEGIN TO WONDER IF THE DAYTIME ALICE HAS DITCHED THE GOLF CLUBS FOR THE DOMINATRIX GETUP JUST TO PUNISH AND PADDLE HIS DISOBEDIENT LISTENERS.THIS IS THE GRIT AND DIRT THAT HAS'NT BEEN ALL THAT APPARENT IN RECENT ALICE EFFORT'S. SURE BRUTAL PLANET WAS FIERCE AS FUCK AND DRAGON TOWN FOLLOWED SUIT. BUT I MISSED THE QUIRKY,COOCKY,SPOOKINESS OF OLD. AS ONLY ALICE COULD DISH OUT. ITS ALL HERE ON THIS SLAB OF ROCK. HOOKS, PUNKY BEATS, HORNS, AND ALL THAT HAS EVER MADE ALICE STAND APART FROM THE PACK IS ALL PACKAGED NOT TO NEATLY RIGHT HERE TO THE DELIGHT OF MANY OLD AND NEW SCHOOL FANS ALIKE. I COULD HAVE STOOD FOR MORE THEN JUST ONE SPOOKY TUNE BUT THAT'S JUST ME. MIXED BY MUDROCK, YOU MIGHT WORRY IF YOU DIDNT LIKE POWERMAN 5000, OR GODSMACK. BUT FEAR NOT! THERE IS NONE OF THAT SHIT HERE."DETROIT ROCK CITY" COMES ON LIKE ITS RAINING CANNON BALLS(VERY HEAVY ENDED)! "SPIRITS REBELLIOUS" IS A COURSE IN WHIPLASH(SPEEDY)."BE WITH YOU A WHILE" ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY(THOUGH I WAS STONED AT THE TIME)! IT SEEMS LIKE WE HAVE A NOD TO EVERY WORTH WHILE ERA IN ALICE'S ILLUSTRIOUS CARRIER.THIS IS ALSO A BAND EFFORT AND YOU CAN HEAR IT. I WAS HOPING FOR A GUEST SPOT FROM AN ORIGINAL COOPER MEMBER OR TO , BUT WE INSTEAD GOT WAYNE KRAMER OF THE OLD MC5! SWEET PACKAGING OF THE DISCS ALSO. PLENTY OF PHOTO'S OF THE OLD COOT LOOKING SUCCULENTLY SINISTER. THESE ARE SONGS THAT STICK, AND THEY KEEP KICKING AROUND IN YOUR HEAD LONG AFTER PLAYING, FORCING YOU TO SLAP IT IN YET AGAIN. WARNING: THIS C.D. MAY CAUSE YOU TO LEAVE YOU FAMILY , BUY SOME GRASS , GROW YOUR HAIR DOWN TO YOUR ASS , AND VANDALIZE STATE PROPERTY.GET IT OR GET AWAY FROM ME.